since black hat is an affront to all nature’s laws and, by extension, a biologist’s wet dream, sometimes black hat will corner flug and tell him ‘facts’ about himself for his own amusement. most of them aren’t true. some of them actually are. he says them all in the same way so flug has no idea which is which. flug wakes up at 4am and black hat is in his bed. he’s been waiting for this.
“i have sperm, but i only have one, and it’s the size of a clementine.”
flug is crying. “i can’t live like this, sir.”
“do you want a sperm.”
“…. yes?”
“you can’t have it. we’re not that close. i don’t like you very much. don’t ask me such a personal question again. also i can’t eat gluten.”
“If you scream directly into a raven’s open mouth I’ll get the message two months later. In the late sixteen hundreds this gave birth to a sport known as Raven Hollering.”
sans: bro come and get this soul pussy. my Sussy papyrus: [dials monster embassy] yes how do i disown a family member for atrocities against monsterkind
BellBirthdayNSFW 